24-year-old girlfriend discovers her 27-year-old boyfriend uses a personalized ChatGPT version of himself to make everyday decisions, including what gifts to buy her: ‘Who am I even dating?’

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Jun 30, 2026 6:00 AM EDT

How much decision-making is too much to outsource to ChatGPT?

When this girl realized that the boy she had been dating for three months was a dependent on AI for basic daily choices, she kinda freaked out. And who can blame her… It all started at a pickleball game, when no one knew the rules, so he asked ChatGPT for some reference. In that moment, she saw that he had multiple chats open with AI, and realized some of them were about his job, family, friends… and even her.

I don't know what I would do if I were in her position. I'm not going to lie: I'm not a fan of AI whatsoever. I understand that it can be helpful for some things (VERY specific things), but I cannot imagine having ChatGPT advise me on which decisions to make, especially when that's about career and relationships.

If there's one thing that separates humans from that is feelings and authenticity. If we give that part of us to the machine, then we're no longer really humans… Okay, maybe that's a bit extreme, but still. To honor that part of our brains that makes us humans is something we should always cherish and use in our daily life. Most of the heavy IA users can't imagine their lives without some help from those machines. Well, I'm coming here to tell you that you've lived most of your life without it: you can survive a ton more by only using your brain.

Sorry, I don't want to sound like I'm mad or something… although I'm kind of mad. I wouldn't like realizing that every message my boyfriend sent me, or every gift he ever gave me, came from ChatGPT. I would like to date a person, not a machine, thank you very much.

Okay, enough with the rambling. Let us know in the comments your opinion on this crazy AI story.

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  • A woman leans on the back of a couch, lost in thought while looking off to the side.
    via Unsplash+ (via Gabriel Ponton)

    A woman leans on the back of a couch, lost in thought while looking off to the side.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I have been only seeing him for three months, and honestly he's super normal and has normal friends. I didn't notice anything weird at first except that he is on his phone a decent bit. It was only recently when we went to play pickleball for the first time that I thought it was weird because I asked him what the rules were and he's like oh I don't know, let me ask chat gpt and I was like, why? Just google it.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • And he asked it anyway and showed me what it said, and then that's when I noticed like all his other chats on the side and it was all extremely personal stuff like about his work, his friends (like a chat was literally like friend dilemma or something), money stuff?
    via DependentEvening8289
  • I asked him what they were and he seemed slightly embarrased but told me that he basically had given all his personal information like job, family friends, me, hobbies literally his entire life from his childhood to now so that it can make all his decisions for him.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • I'm not super against ai or anything but I was pretty taken aback because...like...why? The thing is like when we started seeing each other I didn't really think his messages were Al or anything, like it was awkward but relatively normal. And he has genuinely a pretty normal life and isn't super introverted.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • I'm just so confused. Other than this we don't really have any problems and he's honestly super sweet and engaging, but now I'm starting to wonder like to what extent this would go. I asked to see the chats and he let me after some convincing and I don't know, its just weird stuff.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • Like I feel like it's rather invasive. He asks like what kind of dates he should take me on, what kind of gifts. He even put all my interests in there so it can tell him what he should give me, but I'm like dude you could just search it up. The responses are super generic stuff too.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • Any advice? I told him that I wasn't really comfortable with it having my information but he said it was fine because he didn't use my real name. I don't know. I'm a little bit disturbed.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • I didn't really say anything to him because I just don't know what to say, but the more I think about it the more weirded out I am. Like who am I even dating? He asks the most mundane crop too. Stuff like whether or not he should go to a work event, etc.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • Two people stand together in a bright room, talking.
    via Unsplash+ (via Gabriel Ponton)

    Two people stand together in a bright room, talking.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I found this comment section to be absolutely hilarious. Not only did people start joking about this girl's situation, but they advised her to break up with her boyfriend… and blame Claude for it. Is it just me, or isn't that super funny?

  • trilliumsummer You know you can just stop dating someone when you're getting to know them and find out things you don't like, right? It doesn't have to hit a certain threshold for your "yea I'm out" to be legit.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • inbetween-genders Break up with him and tell him Claude told you to do it.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • HelpfulName Studies are showing that people who rely on Al daily for basic decisions actually get stupid. Seriously. I wouldn't date someone with this degree of lack of mental strength that he can't even make his own decisions.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • curiouscat0111 Sounds like an episode of black mirror waiting to happen...drop him before he gets you encrypted into his Al persona.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • A person holds a smartphone displaying the ChatGPT app against a backdrop of green plants.
    via Unsplash+ (via Solen Feyissa)

    A person holds a smartphone displaying the ChatGPT app against a backdrop of green plants.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • PlanOdd3177 I find that disgusting personally. I like decisiveness in a partner and this is pretty much the opposite of that. It's honestly crazy how much having access to LLMs has changed certain people like this. It's like some people just never wanted to think for themselves and as soon as a cognitive offloading tool came along they happily gave up their whole life to it.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • EverGreenAnxiety Al delusion is going to be studied for years. He needs to be told that chat gpt doesn't care about good advice or bad advice, only that he keeps using it. He needs to stop. There's a biig world out there that wants people to live life by making the occasional mistake, or taking a leap of faith, etc. he can't have chat gpt live his life for him. Also it is very possible he is curating conversations through chat gpt, and that is a huge red flag.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • skylla05 You've been dating for 3 months. That's barely "high school serious". Dump him.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • kdollopolis There's something meta about coming to the internet to ask a collective hive mind made up of strangers, to form an opinion for you about your boyfriend going to an Al chatbot because it's forming opinions for him
    via DependentEvening8289
  • Significant Wind_778 Do you wish to date a human or a digital algorithm &
    via DependentEvening8289
  • ThrowRAkakareborn Claude says this is ok, nothing to worry about
    via DependentEvening8289
  • oliveorangecat He's probably not going to stop using ChatGPT for this purpose as it sounds like he's become very reliant on it. Ask yourself if this is a deal breaker and if you can handle the thought of every detail of your relationship being shared with an Al system. I personally find this dependency really alarming.
    via DependentEvening8289
  • Troublesome Turnip Three months in? Move on. Anyone using Chat Al is a red flag for me. Down with Al!
    via DependentEvening8289

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